In the moment.

Everyday others invest their hopes and trust in us. We hear, say and do things that push and question, develop and grow – what we have with others and who we are. Sometimes we must make decisions we wish we didn’t have to. Choice, choosing, it’s a decision where everything negative rains harder so we can conclude and have reason to the conclusion. I’m not talking diet or regular (the answer is clearly zero – coke that is) I’m talking decisions that in the moment you have that choice to take or leave, to say or shut up, those choices where you know that this could potentially change something in your life, big or small.

This is where I have always tried so hard not to fall short, but its part of growing up I guess, making wrong decisions, ending up in the completely opposite place my head or heart desired. We look back in these moments and pin point the exact moment we fucked up on the directions and took a dodgy path.

But my question is, why is this wrong? This is part of life, the pain, the confusion; those are the emotions that teach you right from wrong. Maybe I’m just the kind of person that needs to learn lessons by breaking rules, tell me not to look at a light bulb cause it will be bright – I have to look now that you've told me not to and now I have a blurry patch on my eye… but ill probably do it again anyway, knowing the same outcome will occur.

‘Being young’ is such a common excuse “oh I’m only going to be young and be able to get with this now” – true, but if you fail to learn and grow from this, it is no longer an excuse, it’s a joke and you are a mess. I went to lunch with a friend the other day and whilst discussing a friend we both care about, we concluded the only way to describe this person was that they were a mess; bluntly that completely sums them up ‘a mess’. Sadly this person has had so many opportunities to further him or herself but just never learns and always falls short… I try hard not to be one to judge these days, but there’s a point in a friendship where you have to stand back and think ‘I’m killing myself out here man, in school, in love, in life’ – man up, you are strong enough; you’re just not trying hard enough.

So in the moment, you often get a choice, you can make this blindly or with partial insight, but you can never know the outcome. You can choose to remain loyal to someone over another, you can choose to pursue the same love interests cause you feel like your heart deserves it more, you can choose to move, to stay, to work hard. You get these choices, you cannot know the outcome, you can fuck it up and fix it, but once you make these choices, if they go sour and you’re not willing to call lemons, then you don’t get to complain. Make your choices and stand by them but admit your failures and learn from them; because the next decision you make could potentially change something in your life and big or small, only you hold the power to fix, fight, love, learn and live with it.